Mens 3s vs Saint Albans 5

Letchworth 3s vs St Albans 5 (Away) – The Great Turkey Purge

First game after Christmas, and it showed. The festive season had clearly been tackled with more enthusiasm than moderation, with most of the lads still carrying the after-effects of turkey, beer, mince pies and what can only be described as cardio rust. Fitness was optional, stretching was theoretical.

Letchworth rocked up in a new formation, largely because we were stacked up front like a Woolworths meat counter on payday. A bit top-heavy, but spirits were high and optimism flowed freely – mostly because nobody had started running properly yet.

To be fair, we started brightly. Some lekker passages of play, neat movement, and the ball actually went where it was meant to a few times. Unfortunately, all it took was one turnover in midfield, a defensive overload, and bang – 1–0 to St Albans some would say against the run of play. The kind that makes you look around for someone else to blame.

Not long after, 2–0, and suddenly Christmas was feeling a lot closer than we’d like.

Despite the scoreline, Letchworth were still playing some decent hockey up to halftime, but we were met by a stubborn St Albans defence and, if we’re being honest, a noticeable lack of cutting edge up front and maybe creativity in midfield.

Richie Pearce had the pick of the chances with a one-on-one with the keeper… and politely passed it straight into him. Very sporting!

The second half, however, was where things started to unravel like cheap Christmas wrapping paper. Poor control, passes going missing, trying to pass through the man in front, movement disappearing faster than any leftover Quality Streets. Shape was lost, gaps opened up everywhere, and despite playing a 3-5-2, the midfield was like a braai without any meat – wide open and lightly populated.

Whether it was the formation or people playing in unfamiliar positions (or just the ghost of Boxing Day/New Year hangovers), it was a familiar pre-Christmas story repeating itself.

At the back, Kev in goal produced some cat-like reflexes, and some last ditch tackles keeping St Albans honest when the wheels were threatening to come off entirely. In the middle of defence, Graeme – the South African centre back – was immense, pulling off the standard weekly sliding tackle and international-level aerials that had the watching crowd wondering if Letchworth had accidentally signed a Springbok on a gap year.

Eventually, 2–0 became 3–0 from a slick short corner routine, and that was that.

Richie Pearce again found himself with the chance of glory – this time a big reverse on the run with the keeper charging out – only to fire it horrifically wide.

Letchworth kept playing and managed to put together 4 or 5 passes in a row (it's easy when we try!)

At one point the stand-in captain, Putnam, found himself in prime position in the D. Having, some would say, bossed midfield in the first half and then pushed forward up front in the second mainly due to a severe lack of fitness required for an all action midfielder, the crowd was expecting a thunderous top-corner finish of international quality - it all played out instantly in his head that this was the right choice.

Instead…

A monumental air shot.

Stunned silence from the watching spectators, followed by sniggers, followed by some industrial-grade expletives and an echo of " Letchworth can we stop the ball" coming from somewhere at the back.

Man of the Match was deservedly Graeme having obviously eaten his cement before the game, with plenty of honourable mentions across the side. Also Matt Mitchell and James Northern picked up some rogue votes.

Dick of the Day was unanimously awarded to Richie Pearce, which the team felt confident he’d be absolutely delighted with. Putnam’s air shot was quietly brushed under the carpet, along with Fred launching a clearance clean over the fence into the pond, missing the gee-up team talk entirely and possibly endangering local wildlife.

Post match analysis somehow descended in to talk of mid-life crisis across the team (the youngsters wondering what the bloody hell was going on)

Is it when your 40 or 50? Think it means Kev and Graeme may be turning up to the next game in either a 2 seater convertible or motorbike. 

All in all, a disappointing result, but at least we blew the turkey and beer out of the system. The legs might forgive us eventually. The lungs? Maybe by Easter.

Onwards and upwards. Probably with less gravy next time. 🍗🍺