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🚨 MATCH REPORT: STEVENAGE 0–2 LETCHWORTH MEN’S TWOS 🚨
Location: Stevenage
Sentence: 70 minutes of hard labour
Verdict: GUILTY – Letchworth win 2–0
Letchworth Men’s Twos travelled to Stevenage with one thing on their minds: escape with the points. What followed was 70 minutes of disciplined hockey, with the Letchworth defence effectively putting Stevenage on lockdown.
The first half was a tense affair. Chances came and went, but neither side could find a way through, leaving the score firmly locked at 0–0.
There was, however, a major incident before the break when John Oliver suffered a horrific finger injury, forcing him from the field. Most sensible prisoners would have taken that as a perfectly reasonable excuse to call it a day.
Not John.
After receiving what can only be described as questionable medical clearance, John returned to the pitch shortly after half-time — and promptly opened the cell door, scoring the first goal to put Letchworth 1–0 up.
The goal was made even more impressive by the fact that he was seemingly playing with fewer functioning fingers than he started with.
With the clock ticking down and just five minutes left on the sentence, Josh Parhar delivered the final blow, finding the back of the net to make it 2–0.
At that point, Stevenage’s chances of escape were officially cancelled.
The final whistle brought proceedings to an end, with Letchworth Men’s Twos walking away with all three points and, importantly, still unbeaten.
👮 Man of the Match: Josh Parhar
Josh earned himself plenty of good behaviour points, scoring the second goal and helping Letchworth close out another victory. A thoroughly deserved Man of the Match award.
⚖️ FINAL VERDICT
Stevenage 0–2 Letchworth Men’s Twos
⚽ John Oliver – horrific finger injury, questionable return, heroic goal
⚽ Josh Parhar – sealed the sentence
🏆 Man of the Match: Josh Parhar
🔒 Letchworth: Still UNBEATEN
Letchworth Men’s Twos: OUT on points.
Stevenage: No parole. No appeal. No goals.
John Oliver: Finger broken, spirit unbroken.
Letchworth’s unbeaten record: STILL SERVING. 👮♂️🔒
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